Shame

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Faithfully I come, I bow, I confess.

And there you are,

Continuous love overflows from Your spirit onto me.

You’ve thrown my sin as far as the East is from the West.

But why is shame the only picture on my mind’s silver screen?

Isn’t there joy for the weight lifted?

Why are my fears not cleared with Your love?

I gave it up, but still with unknown wonder, I ask: “How could the Master of the Universe bear to feel the ever-crushing weight of this ever-present emotion?”

With graceless leaps I hide in my forbidden corner.

Shame and disgrace now run over my shivering bones.

I cling to them somehow for support. 

Not willing to gaze into my Father’s face. 

No matter how dark it gets, You always provide a means of light.

And no matter how many times the light shines through, I believe that I’m the cause. 

Something was done correctly, or maybe Karma.

And all the while, You stand there, waiting patiently, for me to return home.

You call, I ignore.

You listen to my thoughts, when I think I’m the only one.

Ignorance isn’t always bliss.